Feelings of happiness

This is from a long time ago (2009?), but decided to publish it anyway even though it was "unfinished." 

Yesterday (Feb 13) I felt inordinately happy, and I am not exactly sure why. I mean, most of the pieces of my life are in pretty good shape: healthy, loving wife and kids, some financial security, a job with meaning, friends who care, etc. But I am not a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I am more of an even-keeled person who tends to worry more about what could go wrong rather than what is going right. So it was with some surprise that I found myself feeling this way yesterday. It wasn't necessarily and everything-going-my-way type of day, but things did go well overall. I think part of it was a somewhat silly (as in shallow) looking forward to the Duke-UNC game that I was going to watch that night (unfortunately Duke lost to a very talented UNC squad). I looked forward to relaxing and having a beer and wings and watching the game. Pretty normal day at work, went to kung fu, which as has been the case for a number of weeks now, was not able to fully participate in because of back and shoulder injuries. That usually makes me the opposite of happy, but I suppose I have gotten used to it to some extent, and I was able to teach the students, which still does make me happy. Going to get the wings did turn into a happy-making moment, as my older daughter stayed at kung fu for the second class, my youngest was at a sleepover, and my middle one ended up going with me to pick up wings. She had asked about eating there, but didn't seem invested in it, but I decided that this was an opportunity I shouldn't pass up. Of course, she loved going to dinner with just us, and watching sports on TV, because that is who she is. I loved it too, as just about any time I spend with a child on their own is just wonderful. Amazing how destructive sibling rivalry really is. I suppose it was an evolutionary advantage at one time, but now it just sows seeds of discontent. The thing with evolutionarily advantageous behaviors is that they are inherently selfish, which does not really improve our society. We evolved as a social species, but pre-civilization, selfish, aggressive and bellicose behavior probably carried the day. We are still dealing with the ramifications of those selections. But that is not what this post is about, right?

I read this blog entry, but I am not sure which day it was. It could have been that day...but I don't think it had anything to do with how I felt. So I guess I am just not sure why I felt extra happy, but I wanted to analyze it a bit in writing to see what I could come up with. It also occurred to me that it might be useful to define what makes me happy so that when things are going well, I can be unabashedly happy instead of reservedly so, which is how I usually am.

Update March 3: I have left this post in draft format for a while obviously

Metaphor

Well, I posted this to Facebook, but I thought it might be worth a blog entry.  It is actually really short, because I don't remember what prompted it.  But basically 11 yo H said something that was a metaphor.  This is like something or whatever.  And 9 yo P says, "That is the worst metaphor ever!"  Now, I don't think I knew what a metaphor was until high school, so this kind of amazed me.  I am not sure where she learned this, whether it was in some of her workbooks or whether she just picked it up from her voracious reading.  But to not only learn what it meant, but to use it accurately in a social context was impressive.  That is all.

California Trip

Wow, I really don't like it when I go so long between posts.  Of course there is often a lot happening in our lives which is worthy of chronicling, but that is also the very reason that it is hard to chronicle!  Not that I ever dreamed that this would be more than an occasional posting place for some anecdotes, but over a year between posts is not what I had in mind either.  I guess in the pre-digital days, people made scrapbooks, but now the pressure feels on to document and digitize everything.  Which in some ways is good, especially for people like me with spotty memories. 

It has been quite a busy year since the last post.  Probably one of the biggest highlights was traveling to California in July of 2009.  I went out for the ESRI International User Conference in San Diego, and the family came along.  They had a great time in San Diego, swimming in the pools, going to the Zoo, exploring the area.  I always enjoy SD for the weather and the food, and of course learning a lot about GIS.  I know that posting pictures on the blog would probably make it more interesting, but I often post from machines where I don't have access to my pictures.  We also went to Legoland, which was an absolute blast. 

Then we made our way up the coast to Thousand Oaks, where we visited a college friend of Sharon's.  I have known them for while, and they are fun folks.  It was enjoyable - we went down to Malibu for dinner one night, which was a hike, but worth it in the end, as the girls saw Ally and AJ at one restaurant where we didn't get in, and then we saw Tori Spelling (who I hate, but hey, it's a star sighting) at the restaurant where we did eat.  The friend's house was the site of one of the more disturbing incidents I have witnessed.  Everyone seemed to be getting along fine, and P and the friend's daughter were swimming in the pool together.  Everyone else was inside, and I was kind of keeping half an eye on them.  Well, the friend's daughter all of a sudden puts her hands on P's shoulders and just pushes her under the water in an area that is over her head.  I figure it is just one of those games kids play, similar to stuff I had done as a kid.  Well, for one, that is not how we play in our family, but for another, this girl didn't let go.  I watched for a second, and then I told her to let go, and even then she hesitated.  Meanwhile I can see P down below starting to struggle a bit.  Finally she let go, and P came up pretty darn scared.  This girl was 8 or 9 - plenty old enough that she knew that holding someone underwater could hurt them.  P was fine - not really even any coughing, but I was just tremendously disturbed that this girl would do this, and even more disturbed at what might have happened if I had not been watching.  As I am writing this, I am wondering whether she should have seen someone about this incident.  I mean in my mind, this is in league with hurting animals - you have to wonder about what it means for the future of this girl.

But I really don't want to dwell on the one negative incident of a great trip.  From TO, we proceeded up the coast to Ventura, where we visited my cousin and his wife, who we really love.  We had a great time, and during our stay there, we went back down to LA to see a Counting Crows show at LA's Greek Theatre.  Very cool venue, and it was a fabulous show.  I had organized a bunch of people to go, including the friends from TO, my cousin and his wife, and 2 of my friends from Taft who lived in the area.  I think it ended up being 12 people or so, and Adam hooked us up with great seats.  A good time was definitely had by all!

One of the things that struck me about the CA coast was it's ruggedness.  I mean I expected the famous Malibu to be a huge beach, but it was more coves of small beaches from what I could see on our brief drive through.  And really hard to get to - driving down long canyon roads.  The beaches up at Ventura were a bit bigger, but the water was cold, the weather wasn't that warm, seaweed, rocks, etc.  Just not quite the paradise CA beach culture that I had imagined.  I got a taste of that in San Diego a few times.  The beaches out at Coronado were actually much more like what I had pictured - big long beaches with lifeguard towers and such.  But it is hard to get excited about a beach when the water is so cold.  But I guess the surf makes it all worth it...

Well, I guess this became more of a trip post than a collection of thoughts that I had originally intended, so I'll change the title from Random Thoughts to California Trip.  That is all.

Time Flies

I was brushing my teeth this morning, when I heard an excited little voice say, "Daddy, guess how much I got for my tooth!"  I opened the door to find 7 year old P standing there beaming, telling me how she got two dollars!  Totally warmed my heart of course, but got me thinking about how this is the last couple of teeth I will experience one of my children losing.  There is something so wonderful about the simple joy a child has in losing their teeth.  For them, it means they are getting older and losing their "baby" teeth.  For us, it also means they are getting older, and when it is the last child in the family, there is a certain melancholy that accompanies it.  So what is my reaction to this?  Well, I think an important reaction is to be conscious of spending as much time with them as possible.  With our oldest already 13, much of her childhood is in the rear view mirror.  She is turning into a wonderful person, which is gratifying, but it is still hard not to miss the child she once was.  So perhaps we grieve a little for the "youngness" (youth does not seem the right word) we no longer experience, which is a reasonable reaction to a loss.

But the youngness is not gone of course, as illustrated by P's statement the other day while deciding what to wear for the day. They often check in with me on what to wear during cold weather, as I have become somewhat of an authority on keeping warm, based partially on my days working at an outdoor outfitter.  She had appropriately chosen long pants and long sleeves for a February day, and I noted that it was going to be a bit warmer than it had been, probably in the 40s.  She said that was warm, and she was going to change into short sleeves.  I questioned that, and she said, "Well, the 40s is almost 50, and 50 is almost 60, which is warm!"  We almost fell over laughing.

Skiing

This is more of a placeholder for a later entry, but it has just been so much fun skiing with the girls this year.  They have really gotten their legs under them after a couple of years of bunny slope skiing.  We have been to Okemo, Bromley, Stratton, and Butternut.  Their confidence is really improving, and they have just simply loved it.  And when the conditions have been tough, they have been tough too.


Here they are at Okemo in December with their new gear.  They got to ski and have lessons for free which got them off to a great start!  Now they are skiing some intermediate slopes with some confidence.  And Hannah and Paysie have become the snowplow bombers!

Kids and Music

Los Angeles - It's Only Rock and Roll but I Like It: Music as a Soundtrack to Life - LA Daily - LA Weekly

Wil Wheaton has written another great article about growing up. And it is something that I have thought about on and off for a while. We have certainly exposed the girls to quite a bit of music, although nothing close to all that I appreciate, as I just haven't had the time or money to get all the music that I like brought into iTunes. But I have often wondered whether they will appreciate the music that we like, or whether they will just reject it completely as part of their teenage rebellion. Certainly Wil's father was more methodical and consistent in his descriptions and backstories associated with particular music. But when a song comes on the radio, and I tell the girls it is one of the greatest rock and roll songs of all time, they do pay attention. What I have also found interesting is that sometimes they get an album, and it has some redone version of a classic song done by kids or whatever, and I say that it is not the real or original version, they are interested in the original version. One example is Superstition. I also on a whim one day played Englishman in New York, and they immediately latched on to it and started learning the words, which was fine with me, as the main message is "Be yourself, no matter what they say." Of course they are also quite attracted to the teeny-bob pop that is propagated, but most of it is not too junky. And they have certainly taken an interest in the Counting Crows, with Accidentally In Love their entry point, but their interest obviously grew when they found out I knew Adam, and got to meet him at the reunion. I look forward to being able to hear what their perceptions are about music growing up. I have almost no memory of music associated with my parents outside of Johnny Mathis at Christmas time. They also liked some 50's and 60's bop and rock, and Mom apparently went to Woodstock. But I don't remember music being a huge part of their life. Although Dad did tend to usually have a pretty good stereo system.

Monopoly

I read in Wil Wheaton's blog about his taking time to play frisbee with his stepson, and it reminded me that we had some great family time this weekend playing Shrek Monopoly.  The girls really just loved it.  We kept the game going all weekend, and during breaks in the weekend chores, we would play a few rounds.  That enabled us to get farther than we usually had; all the properties were bought up and people started putting cabins (or in Shrek's case, shacks) on their monopolies.  Sharon was able to exorcise some of her childhood demons by playing to this level, as she always quit as a child once the properties were bought up.  P was so into it that she didn't even sit down while we were playing - she stood at the end of the table and danced around, constantly moving, and even climbed up on the table a few times until she was asked not to.  It was a tough weekend, because we were working on going through clothes and such, which is a total nightmare because of the stuff we have accumulated.  But the Monopoly was a fun break from that drudgery, and it was great that the kids were now of the age to be able to play independently.  H wanted to be on a team with me, which was fine, as I was not always able to play when they did.  And the first thing they wanted to do this morning was get back to the game.  And then I got a call from H saying that mom's "row of death" had gotten her and we didn't have any money left and she had to mortgage one of our properties.  Poor thing was really upset about it.  But learning how to lose is more important than knowing how to win.